Chimera Song Mosaic
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Keep in mind that I have been obssessively checking to see who has posted perspectives on AWP, and that I am sure there are blogs that I have been missing, and that I can't quite figure out what of the 100,000,000 words I want to post myself and want first to see what other people say in order to determine what of what I have to say will be tolerated.
And when I first started reading Stephaine's post on AWP I was embarrassed and couldn't handle reading what I was sure the person I met in Austin was writing on the page I had come to know as the well-nourished moon, like what is she doing writing here? and what has changed?
But when I got to the part where she discussed this very thing and said, "while you read this . . ." I was once again sure that I was the you and that it is okay for me to read it, and by the time I got to the end of the post I had never met the in-person Stephanie at all. Or more accurately, the time I spent with the real Stephanie I comfortably acknowleged as little compared to the time I have spent with her blog, that there is no threat here, that I can meet a blogger and still read her blog.
Although this was a close call. I am pretty sure that I don't want to meet any other bloggers. What right do I have? How can I impose that on some person: be like your blog! I insist that you evoke the alter-ego I am most comfortable with!
I liked the real Stephanie very much, and I wish that Barton Springs could have been open for her.
I read on some people's blogs the predictable I met them and I bought this at the bookfair, and then I read on someone else's blog that it is annoying to hear an exhaustive list of who met which.
I like to forget where I read things so I don't have to think too much about the personality and so I don't have to get it exactly right. But I think I do know why the list of bloggers met: it is simply polite.
As far as the lists of purchases, I think this is last year's trend, but I am going to do it again because, simply put, I am not a trendy person and things have a way of slow extinction with me. Also, I believe it will free me to write about what I really want to say about AWP.
I didn't meet many bloggers at AWP, and those I did meet I think I haven't read their blogs (with 1 - 2 exceptions). Meeting Stephanie had a profound effect on me, and I don't think I have much room for too many of these effects in a tiny space. I don't really like meeting new people; people who claim to want to meet new people have always annoyed me, although with some perspective I can see the advantages of meeting new people everyone once in a while.
For now, I prefer to move in cliques, like the Montana one I'm part of, which was really my favorite thing about AWPs past and recently past and why I'm probably going to the next one. I'm not the only one. I'm pretty sure everyone at AWP was moving in cliques or hoping to create new ones--that's probbaly why you couldn't get people to move over and let you pass in crowds.
Back to Stephanie's post: I really like it when she tries to remember lines she has heard at readings. That is certainly the best thing about hearing poetry aloud.
Here's my list: (forget it; I'll just let you know if I read anything I like).